News

So I finally cut a deal with Mammon (my star salesperson) about his pay rise. It was a long, painful and very unpleasant process, but we got there in the end. I'm not sure whether or not our recent sales competition had the desired effect of making him more humble and appreciative, but it certainly seems to have made him a bit more friendly – we actually ended up having a decent conversation, rather than a full-on negotiation.

As I've said on this blog before, there's nothing I hate more than salary negotiations. I hate how personal it always gets, however you hard you try to avoid making it personal. I hate how time-consuming it tends to be, as if doing it quickly shows how little you care. And I hate what it does to people – often you see perfectly sensible types spouting complete nonsense that they've clearly cribbed from 'Getting to Yes' or 'How to Make Friends and Influence People' or some other ridiculous self-help book, and you have to spend ages wading through their lamentable attempts at psychological manipulation before you can actually get down to business.

That said, I have no objection to giving people pay rises per se. Quite the reverse, in fact. Some entrepreneurs I know have recently introduced a pay freeze until the economy picks up, and although it's an attractive idea from a practical point of view (think of the time it'd free up), I feel very strongly that it's a disastrous idea. To me, this is precisely the time when you desperately need your best and most important people to stay with you and stay motivated. If you punish your best person in the same way as your worst person, they're not exactly going to feel valued, are they? My policy has always been that if you look after good people in the bad times, they'll be more loyal in the good times. Of course there will be some people who don't get anything and won't be happy about it - but that's a risk you have to take.

Anyway, once we were all agreed, he insisted on buying me a celebratory drink. Now as you can see, I'm completely happy with the rationale of giving him a pay rise. I'm convinced it's the right thing to do. And I didn't even find his behaviour that objectionable, eventually. But I always find the whole process a bit distasteful. I can never shake the feeling that the extra money is coming directly out of my own pocket, which means I can't use it to buy important stuff like computers and desks and a new pair of shoes. In other words, however much I rationalise it, I'm still a bit bitter about it - so the last thing I feel like doing is celebrating the fact that he's basically squeezed more money out of me.

Nonetheless, I did go, because I couldn't think of any excuse that didn't sound rude. And as we sat there with a beer, I couldn't resist asking him about his love life. Normally I don't do that with boys, in case it gives them the wrong idea, but I was dying to know whether he'd come clean about the new girl in Marketing (who I saw him playing pat-a-cake with through a restaurant window a few weeks ago). But he just went a bit pink and mumbled that he wasn't seeing anyone. Which either means that he's trying to keep it a secret, or she's rapidly come to her senses and realised that they were completely unsuited.

Either way, at least now he's definitely staying I'll be able to watch the fall-out at close quarters...

Previous blogs:
Breaking and Entering
The importance of Plan B
Competitive selling
The elephant in the room
Office relationships
Money troubles
I Don't Need No Bad Advice
Value creation
HR Therapy
Difficult people
Partnership Troubles
Bad debts
About Me