Anyone who wants all their long-held prejudices about investment bankers confirmed need look no further than @GSElevator, who anonymously tweets alleged overheards from Goldman Sachs’ elevators.
Now, riding on the outrage-inducing coattails of Wolf of Wall Street, the purveyor of classist, misogynist, racist (and any other –ist you can think of) eavesdroppings has got a book deal with Simon & Schuster, one of the ‘big four’ publishers.
Here are ten of the worst (and there are many) tweets from @GSelevator, potentially the best job ad ever for Goldman Sachs - if they do indeed employ narcissistic 'high achievers' and plan to keep it that way.
1. There’s plenty of peacocking
#1: My tie collection is worth more than your car.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) December 13, 2012
2. Sticks & stones, eh?
#1: Only Neanderthals resort to violence. I prefer crushing one's spirit, hope, or ego.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) December 25, 2013
3. This sexism ain’t casual, it’s committed
#1: Advice for a daughter depends almost entirely on how attractive she is.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) June 21, 2013
4. Ditto racism
#1: Whenever something says, 'The first black, the first latino, or the first woman', it just means a white guy did it first.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) July 9, 2013
5. And poor-bashing
#1: If riding the bus doesn't incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) July 6, 2013
6. Child labour ftw
#1: My 10yr old made a birdhouse. We're so screwed. 10yr olds in China are making iPhones.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) May 16, 2013
7. It’s all about the adultery
[Classic] #1: My 1st wife was vehemently pro-life until my girlfriend got pregnant.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) January 28, 2013
8. Also breaking the law to get rich
#1: Insider trading is like pissing in the pool. It sounds dirty, but really isn't that big a deal.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) January 18, 2013
9. ‘Intelligence’ equals wit, obviously
#1: Nobody would think that some smart, educated, and successful people would make as many jokes about the number '69' as we do.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) December 19, 2012
10. Did we mention bankers love money?
#1: I'd marry for money. And I already have money.— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) October 3, 2012