Italian footballers put the boot in

Tommasi, former midfielder for Roma, now president of the Italian football association, is spearheading a move by Italy’s millionaire football elite to try and save their nation’s economy.

In an unprecedented surge of patriotism, he and his band of brothers are attempting to bolster the market by purchasing government bonds today. ‘All of us cheer for the country and most of all we believe in its strength,’ he explains. ‘That's why we're supporting BTP Day [Government Bond Day].’

Tomassi plans to snag €100,000 worth of bonds on behalf of the football association. His goal is to bring Italian 10-year yields back down below the critical 7% level. So far, the market is still sick as a parrot, but it is a game of two halves – we’ll see how he and his other footie pals do by the close of play.

His compadres have yet to be named but Tomassi insists ‘I've already received positive signs from many of them regarding this.’ Let’s hope these calciatori make good on their promise to flex their silky skills on the market.

After all, there are far worse places a footballer can put his money. ‘We know that players are often badly advised on investments,’ laughs Tomassi. ‘We think buying Italian bonds is not only important for Italy but also a safe investment.’

Stirring stuff. But with nearly €2tn of national debt to cope with, even the Hand of God would struggle to make much of an impression on the Italian economy right now.