I've been writing this column for more than a year now and have asked for very little, beyond the monthly delivery of a vehicle worth more than the average house. So I hope you'll indulge me this one request: please bring to the foreground of your mind the lyrics and tune of Everybody Sunshine by David Hasselhoff.
In case your memory isn't up to much, or in case you weren't residing in Germany in 1992, where it hit number 21 in the charts, the chorus goes: 'Everybody sunshine, everybody fun time/We've got the power, we've got the Lord/Everybody hands up, what a feeling/To sing for freedom around the world.' Is it all coming back?
You see, as part of its German marketing campaign for the revival of the Scirocco - originally introduced in 1974 in the middle of the oil crisis - VW has launched a Pop Idol-style talent contest to attract 18- to 45-year-old Germans who want a sporty, affordable car for daily use.
The carmaker sent a bus equipped with a mobile recording studio to various VW plants across Germany and invited workers to take part. And, having glanced at the terms and conditions, I've spotted nothing saying that motoring correspondents on leading British business magazines can't get involved by writing a song.
So here's my entry. The words are set to the tune of Everybody Sunshine. Believe me, it's hard to make some of the car's best features - the chrome twin exhaust tailpipe, the optional electric tilting panoramic roof and electronic stabilisation programme - rhyme with anything else. But I think I've pulled it off. But to truly enjoy what follows, you need to (a) remember that all pop lyrics, even those by Bob Dylan, sound banal when written down; and (b) have the original music playing in the background (go to YouTube). After three, now...
Verse 1: 'The Scirocco's sporty and innovative/You can push it to 5,000 rpm, and it's still got something to give/But having said that, even at city speeds it's easy to with live with/Scirocco...'
Verse 2: 'Some might say it's not much different to drive than the Golf GTI/But for that kind of performance many manufacturers would die/The nifty DVD touch-screen navigation-radio system is fly/Scirocco...'
Verse 3: 'Roomier in the back than it may at first appear/But, having said that, not a great view through the rear window, I fear/Under emergency braking the hazard lights are automatically activated, helping to give advance warning to other road users, I hear/Um, Scirocco...'
I'll take one...
Drives as well as the Golf GTI.
Thanks but no thanks...
Doesn't look pretty from all angles.
I'll wait for a version with a bigger engine.
VW Scirocco GT TSI 200PS £20,940
Combined power 197 bhp at 5,100-6,000 rpm
Torque 207 lb/ft at 5,000 rpm
Transmission 6-speed manual
Fuel 37.2 mpg (combined cycle)
CO2 179 g/km
0-62 mph 7.2 sec
Top speed 146 mph