Your route to the top: Control your temper

Find the source. If your boss makes you angry when she demands unexpected use of your time, arrange a few minutes to discuss what she expects from you. You'll like her much more when you're working on your own terms.

Last Updated: 31 Aug 2010

Put it into perspective. Make an effort to stop seeing difficulties as an annoyance; what looks like a problem may just be a natural part of your job. All jobs have difficult aspects and clients or colleagues who are hard to deal with.

Don't let the bully win. If they are deliberately winding you up, the only way to stop it is to react differently. Smile, imagine you're Gandhi and practise your non-violent resistance. They'll soon switch to easier prey.

Take a break. Do something different. If you know your temper gets out of control in the afternoon meeting, arrange a session at the gym or relaxing massage at lunchtime. Come back refreshed and ready to take on the world.

Make a change. Break the problem down and identify one thing that you can do to make a difference. Do it now. Don't stop until you have a result.

Get over it. All grumbling is tantamount to saying 'why is a lily not an oak?' Appreciate things and people for what or who they are, rather than getting frustrated by what they're not.

Vent your feelings. Speak to friends, lovers or colleagues who aren't involved, and let out all the anger. Then, having talked it through, go back and deal with the situation.

Picture the worst that could happen. Make it look ridiculous. Laugh at it. See? It's never as bad as you think.

Remember, it's not for ever. Think about how you'll feel when it's all over. Will this even matter in a week's time? A month? A year? Picture it finished in all its glorious detail and you'll find getting there a lot easier.

'The Mind Gym: Give me time' is published by Time Warner Books (£12.99). Contact the firm at

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