Surely the Geneva Convention forbids this sort of thing. Should the hapless Daily Telegraph ad salesman prang his Golf or Alfa, proprietor Conrad Black has devised a form of punishment that must count as cruel, if not downright unnatural. Until his car is back on the road, the offending salesperson is banished to - I can hardly bring myself to write the words - a Reliant Robin. Imagine the shame: pulling up outside the Rose and Spiv in something that does not even have the usual complement of wheels, far less a little hook on which to hand one's sheepskin jacket. And the jokes about Del-Boy Trotter: too ghastly. Not surprisingly, the annual tally of accidents afflicting the DT fleet fell from nearly 40 to just 12 during the scheme's first year. The Ultimate Sanction has not had to be involved at all for the last three months. "It's working marvellously," purrs one executive, to whose Jag such draconianisms do not apply.
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Are you pushing for gender equality and a #BalanceforBetter in the workplace? Time to be recognised.