One week to go until Christmas party. Top of mistletoe list is scorching Emily Reimbold from Research who's built entirely from gravity-defying materials. Have tried the legendary Weak charm on her more than once but talking to her is like continually serving into the net. Sense of humour bypass. Will just get totally bladdered at party and let nature take its course. Giles Renton-Willets (weirdo HR Director) popped by with Christmas bonus calculations for my team. Don't know why he bothered. I decide who gets the bonuses based on ability alone (the ability to brown-nose yours truly).