UK: Wordmanship - Fluent jargonspeak.

UK: Wordmanship - Fluent jargonspeak. - Today's corporate jargon is at worst confusing and at best irritating.

Last Updated: 31 Aug 2010

Today's corporate jargon is at worst confusing and at best irritating.

But it is certainly one of the things that never change, as businessman Bryan Samain will attest. In 1954, when he made his first business trip to America, he was given this 'How to win at wordmanship' guide by a jokey (or perhaps deadly serious) acquaintance.

The procedure is simple. Think of any three-digit number, then select the corresponding buzzword from each column. The resultant phrase can be dropped into virtually any report with that ring of decisive knowledgeable authority. All together now, 1, 2, 3 ... 'total monitored mobility' or how about 5, 8, 9 'responsive third-generation contingency'? See colleagues gape in amazement at your command of jargonspeak.

Think Of A Number, Any Three-Digit Number.

0 integrated 0 management 0 options

1 total 1 organisational 1 flexibility

2 systematised 2 monitored 2 capability

3 parallel 3 reciprocal 3 mobility

4 functional 4 digital 4 programming

5 responsive 5 logistical 5 concept

6 optional 6 transitional 6 time-phase

7 synchronised 7 incremental 7 projection

8 compatible 8 third-generation 8 hardware

9 balanced 9 policy 9 contingency.

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