What's your problem?

A colleague made an unwanted advance, and I can't forget it.

by Jeremy Bullmore
Last Updated: 01 Feb 2011

At a work party I casually invited a male colleague to my birthday bash, which he then attended - only to make an unwanted advance on me in my own home, which I share with my fiance. Thankfully, one of his friends came in and disturbed him, which is how I escaped before things went too far. I know he was drunk, and I'm not sure he even remembers the incident, but I am really struggling at work. We've been put on a big project together, but every time I see him I get flashbacks of that night. Should I tell someone?

A: Your colleague may or may not have forgotten this incident - but he'll certainly have tried to put it as far out of his mind as he can. As well as his drunkenness, that early intervention by the friend probably saved him from indelible humiliation.

I sense all this happened relatively recently - so my best advice is to let time do its usual therapeutic work. But I wonder if you've confided in your fiance. As long as you can be confident that he won't get all manly and challenge your colleague to fisticuffs, you could well find that the very act of sharing this experience with someone you trust would in itself diminish its potency.

- Jeremy Bullmore is a former creative director and chairman of J Walter Thompson London. His book Another Bad Day at the Office? is published by Penguin at £6.99. Address your problem to Jeremy Bullmore at: editorial@mtmagazine.co.uk. Regrettably, no correspondence can be entered into.

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